The Nechoma Greisman Anthology

Section 3: EDUCATING CHILDREN When Mashiach comes, speedily in our days, we will point proudly to our children and say, "Look at the offspring we have raised."

Through the Eyes of a Woman -- Jewish Education

Shalom! We welcome you again this evening to our broadcast, "Through the Eyes of a Woman," heard every Wednesday evening through August at this time. This program is sponsored by the Lubavitch Women's Organization, N'shei Chabad. In previous broadcasts we have discussed several major aspects of Judaism such as 1) Kashrus, 2) Shabbos and 3) the Laws of Family Purity, whose implementation in the Jewish home depends largely on the woman. This evening we will explore another topic of vital importance to the Jewish woman, and to the Jewish community at large -- and that is Jewish Education.

Just exactly what is, and what is not, Jewish Education? This question is not so easy to answer because many parents, teachers and principals equate Jewish Education with Hebrew Education, or a course in Jewish Culture. Unfortunately, this error has cost the Jewish people many young, Jewish lives. Thousands of youngsters have turned away from Judaism, simply because as children, they were turned off by the wrong kind of education, even though they could have been reached by a school, an outreach program, or the community Rabbi, etc.

A Jewish education must prepare the child for a Jewish life as an adult. It must teach the child to read Hebrew, certainly, but it must also teach the child how to live as a Jew every day. True, a good Hebrew school should prepare the child for his bar-mitzvah, but it must also instruct and inspire the child to observe the mitzvos of the Torah, both before and after his bar-mitzvah, and in fact, for his entire life. A Jewish education must stimulate the child to want to study his heritage and keep it alive to pass it on to the next generation. A Jewish education must motivate the child to love G-d and his fellow Jews.

Such results are not achieved by a shallow, boring and irrelevant Hebrew school curriculum, offered on Sundays, or for a few hours weekly after public school. It also cannot be accomplished merely by teaching children about the history of the Jewish people, the Hebrew alphabet, a few prayers, songs and Bible stories. Too many Hebrew schools over-emphasize the importance of learning the Hebrew language, history and/or culture in a curriculum. There are too many tragic cases of curious and interested Jewish children who had a sincere interest in Judaism, and asked their teachers basic and important questions, such as why certain mitzvos are done, why the Jewish people are different from all other nations, etc. Their teachers did not know the answers, or did not care enough to provide their students with a serious explanation of these matters. Having been ignored and stifled from asking further questions, the children came to the sad conclusion that Judaism is a superficial, boring religion which deals with old-fashioned meaningless rituals and irrelevant philosophies. You may now find these children, grown up, living in Greenwich Village, India, Europe, Buddhist temples, and all over the world, searching in different religions and in faraway places for the spirituality and truth they never found in their own heritage. And how ironic, that it was in great measure, their poor Hebrew Education which is to blame. It is their teachers and principals who are guilty for not telling the whole story and not presenting the excitement and beauty of the Jewish way of life in a realistic and relevant way.

A Jewish education is not a luxury or a frill. A true Jewish education is of utmost necessity, and it is not fair to deny it to our children. All Jewish people have an innate curiosity and feeling for Judaism. If it is nurtured in a proper way, it flourishes in a healthy manner. If it is stifled, it shrinks. For a child, learning about Judaism means learning who he really is. It means understanding his heritage; that he has a special identity among the billions of other people on the earth. The stories and teachings of the Torah, its laws and customs, are more relevant to the child's immediate life than math, spelling, history or literature. A child who has a sound Jewish education feels secure and comfortable. He does not have to grope in the dark to find a guide for his life. He is not at the mercy of a variety of missionaries of different and strange religions, each promising him truth, happiness and purpose. The child already knows that Judaism, if lived the way G-d has instructed us to live it, already contains these. He is at home with other Jews because he feels a unity with them.

Torah Judaism stresses the perfection of one's character traits as well, so being an educated Jew helps the child grow to be a moral, honest and well-adjusted adult human being who has a strong belief in G-d which will guide and carry him throughout his life. He knows that only by living an uncompromising Jewish life can one derive the full benefits of Judaism and the blessings of G-d. One cannot just pick and choose which precepts of Judaism he wishes to observe, and which ones he wants to neglect. The holiness and sanctity of Judaism demand that a Jewish way of life be complete, total and uncompromising. It is not limited to the synagogue, to Hebrew school, to special holidays or special individuals. A child likes that a lot because it isn't phony! Religion by proxy sounds and is phony for a Jew. Living a total Jewish life is a means to happiness and joy. After all, G-d, being the Master of the world, and the Epitome of goodness, had to set up a happy and pleasant way of life for his children to follow.

Jews who know what Judaism really is, know that it adds a quality of fullness and richness and peacefulness to our lives. For example, when Shabbos is observed totally it is a day of family togetherness, a day when all worries and stresses from work and job melt away, a day to talk and learn and share, a true day of enjoyment and peace which comes once a week. Shabbos is truly a day to recuperate from the past six weekdays and become invigorated for the week to come. How interesting that this holy day is ushered in by the woman, through kindling the Shabbos candles. This is because it is truly through the woman that all blessings of goodness and health and long life are channeled to the rest of the family. Recently, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, has initiated a massive and worldwide candle-lighting campaign to encourage all women, and also girls from about the age of three years old, to join all Jewish Women in ushering in the Shabbos by lighting the Shabbos candles. Single girls light one candle, married women light two. There is a beautiful custom to put a few pennies into the charity box right before lighting the candles. As a woman or girl lights the candles, it is also an auspicious time to pray to G-d for health, nachas from children, and prosperity.

One of the reasons for the emphasis on candle-lighting at this time, is to counteract the increased darkness which exists in the world today. Just as a small flame has the power to drive away much darkness, so do the holy flames of the Shabbos candles which we light. They push away much of the confusing darkness which envelops our modern society. There are lovely small candlesticks available, and if you would like to have one or get information about Shabbos, Kashrus, or any other aspects of Judaism, simply call _____, or write Lubavitch Women's Organization _____ Candle lighting time for this Shabbos, August 1, is _____.

A Jewish life is almost always a better life -- free of many of the ills which plague our society, such as infidelity, delinquency, intermarriage, and family strife, which are all a result of becoming Westernized and assimilated. A Jewish education must deal with the practical mitzvos. It must teach the child how and why to keep Kashrus, Shabbos, giving of charity and prayer. It must teach children that there are two separate areas in Jewish law -- those mitzvos between man and man, and those mitzvos between man and G-d. Both are necessary in a Jew's life.

The teacher must be a person imbued with Torah knowledge and values, and one who practices what he teaches. Otherwise he will simply be teaching hypocrisy. The teacher must be a living example, a model, of what a Jew should be. Children detect easily hypocrisy and lip-service and they don't like it at all.

Just as a poor Hebrew school can, and often does, turn a child away from the very thing he was enrolled to learn, so also, can a home turn the child away. If the child's family mocks what he has learned in school; if it insults and abuses the very values that he was taught are holy, he will become confused, and assume that his parents must be right and therefore Judaism loses again. The family must respect Judaism and uphold it in a practical way, if the child is to follow suit. You cannot send a child to Hebrew school to assuage a guilty conscience. You cannot send a child to study Judaism, and then discourage him from trying to live what he has learned. And most important -- a Hebrew school is not a bar-mitzvah prep school. How painful it is to see grown boys and girls who graduated from Hebrew school and from Judaism at their bar- or bas-mitzvah. They remain forever with a 12 or 13-year-old's perspective of Judaism that is supposed to compete with a sophisticated and adult perspective in all other areas of life. It is easy to see how Judaism always remains a children's religion for such a person, since it never challenges his adult mind, nor answers his adult questions.

What can be done about this? Firstly, all parents concerned with their children's education must bring living Judaism into their home and family life in a practical way. By lighting Shabbos candles, eating kosher food, observing the laws of family purity, to name a few, the parent is saying to the child: "I also care about Judaism. It is something good and true and happy, and we're going to enjoy it together. It's more important than anything else."

Secondly, the concerned parents must themselves study Judaism so they will be able to explain its precepts to their children, and give truthful and intelligent answers to their childrens' questions. There are many books available in English today which discuss all aspects of Judaism. They are written in a clear and interesting manner, designed for the adult reader, and the number of titles is continuously growing. One source of such reliable publications is Merkos, 770 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn, NY 11213. Another source is Feldheim Publishers. There are also many reliable places where adults can study Judaism. If there is no such facility in your area, you can help to start one. When children see that parents themselves are sincerely interested in furthering their own Jewish awareness and knowledge, the child will correctly understand that Judaism is for everyone, man, woman and child, and that there's no limit to the heights one can attain in the understanding of Torah and mitzvos. In such an environment and within such a framework, the child will himself be encouraged to learn and search and ask questions, and to practice and grow.

Thirdly, the parents must be very discriminating and selective when it comes to enrolling their child in a Hebrew school. It must be a school where all of the teachers, as well as the principal, live and observe Judaism outside the classroom as well. It must be a school which inspires and excites the child about Judaism. It must be a school which teaches practical observance, not just culture and language. It must be a school which provides for the post bar-mitzvah or bas-mitzvah child as well. It must be a school where the child will want to continue learning and observing Judaism on his own. Will it teach the child to love G-d and Judaism? This is what we must ask ourselves. One excellent choice is a day school or yeshiva, where the children study Judaism half the day and secular subjects half the day. In such schools, the child gets a well-rounded education in both areas, and grows up with a solid, mature background in Judaism. He can later make an intelligent choice how to live as a Jew. In the superficial Hebrew schools we spoke of earlier, the child is not even given enough knowledge to be able to make a well-informed choice later on in his life. Unless this is treated with the seriousness it deserves, Judaism almost always loses to secularism.

In the day school or yeshiva, there is enough time to teach the child Hebrew reading, writing and prayers and much, much more. The child is taught Torah from the original Hebrew text. He knows how the Jewish people started and where they are going. He understands why we keep the laws of the Torah. He feels comfortable during the holidays because he knows the whys and hows of each. Judaism is alive, meaningful, important and very exciting. And at the same time he is getting a balanced and well-planned secular education. The day school or yeshiva seems to be the best solution to the problem of where to send a child to study Judaism. Today, there are yeshivos and day schools in every major city. And many of them can work out tuition arrangements depending on ability to pay. But truthfully, the tuition fee can be safely considered as payment for an insurance policy, which will pay dividends in the form of a happy, wholesome child who has a clear path to follow, an identity, and a purpose that will keep him away from the many traps that abound for Jewish people to fall into.

If you stop to think for a few minutes, and compare how hundreds of dollars are thoughtlessly and quickly spent on luxury items and needless commodities which do little to ensure long-range benefits for anyone, I think you will agree that the money spent on a sound Jewish education is money wisely invested.

If, for some reason, a day school or yeshiva education is impossible for your child, be very careful when looking for a Hebrew school or Talmud Torah. The one nearest your home may not be the best one.

Jewish education is a must for both girls and boys. Hebrew school must not be merely a stepping-stone towards a bar-mitzvah, and then once over, packed away and forgotten. A Jewish education must continue as long as any education continues. In a world where education for all is considered a right, Jewish education for Jews must be considered a must, if we are to raise a new generation of Jews to take over and carry the torch which has been burning brightly since G-d gave us the Torah at Mount Sinai, over 3000 years ago.

We welcome your questions and comments about this program and invite you to get in touch with us for Shabbos candlesticks. Also, if you would like someone to visit your bungalow colony or hotel to speak about any aspect of Judaism, please call _____ or write to the Lubavitch Women's Organization _____. Have a pleasant evening and good week and remember to light the Shabbos candles this Friday evening at _____.

Shalom!