The Nechoma Greisman Anthology

Section 5: LETTERS Spreading the wellsprings outward

A Letter to Children Who Have Lost Their Mother

Dear Children,

I heard about your mother's petirah. I (and everyone else who heard) was so shocked. We couldn't understand why Hashem should take away such a young mother from her family. Every day we were thinking about you -- how it must be so sad to wake up and call to Mommy and see she's not there. So many people miss her. Not only your family, but others as well. She was such a special person and all of you have a zechus that you were born to her. Now that she is in Gan Eden she is still with you, and she sees you and she is still very proud of her children when they act like she wants, and she is still very upset when she sees her kids fighting or being mean to each other.

A neshama is still very much connected to its family so even if you can't see her face, and she can't bathe you, or tell you what to wear, you can still tell her (while you're davening or benching licht) what you want to tell her, and ask her to ask Hashem to give you the really important things you need. A neshama in shamayim can talk to Hashem more easily than a person on this earth.

It's a very good thing she passed away now, and not earlier, because Mashiach is coming very soon, and we won't have to wait too long 'till she comes back again. Only yesterday the Rebbe spoke a lot about Techiyas HaMeisim. None of us can really understand why this happened. Only Hashem. But we know that everything Hashem does is for a good reason, even if we don't know what the reason is. Maybe when Mashiach comes very soon, we'll find out why she had to leave us all so soon and so suddenly. At least, Baruch Hashem, she wasn't sick for a long time before she died. Some mothers are sick for a very long time before they die, and I think that's even harder for everyone.

I guess the important thing now is to remember all of the things she used to tell you and try to do them and to remember which things made her angry, and not to do them. Another thing to remember is that your Tatty is very lonely now. When a wife dies, not only the children lose their mother, but the husband loses his wife. If you can try to make it easier for him, everyone would appreciate it. If you can settle your arguments before he comes home, and not have him come home to a fight -- that would be so great. And also, try not to do things which bother him. It would be much easier if the older kids would help out the younger kids when they have a problem instead of throwing all the problems on Tatty's head.

I don't know when we'll see each other next, but whenever it is -- we should meet at a happy time. If you want to write us letters, that would be nice, because I don't think we ever got a letter from you before!